*melting*

When I moved into this lovely little houselet I was warned by a friend that living in the attic meant it would be the hottest part of the house in summer, and the coldest part in winter. Well they were correct about it being hottest in summer...but it appears that this particular room is also the hottest in winter! I am so hot here that i'm sitting in a teensy nightie with the window open and i'm STILL baking. And for those that know me, i'm like the coldest person in this country. Even my Ghanain friend is usually warmer than me. So this now begs the question:

What is going on with my room?!!

Well the radiator isn't on full, and half of it is blocked by the chest of drawers. So it can't be that. Also, if the heating in general was on too high the whole house would be booming. As i've already pointed out, i'm generally quite a 'cold body' as my Mum would say. So this leaves, I believe, only one more possible explanation.

I think there is a dragon living in my bedroom.

Let me repeat - a dragon, ladies and gentlemen!

Let us just unpack this possibility for a moment. I live in a rather small bedroom with lots of nookes and crannies into which a tiny-to-small sized fire-breathing reptile could quite happily hide away in.

Underneath the chest of drawers, for example, is quite a cozy little space which - although tricky perhaps to maneover underneath - would be quite comfortable once she (let us call her Felicity the Firebreathing Dragonette) became nestled into the carpet. Another possibility would without a doubt be my wardrobe, which is huge inside, with boxes and spaces at various stages of empty, that a small-to-medium sized fire-breathing reptile would probably find quite idyllic - lots of soft and squishy jumpers, tissue paper and so on, to burrow down in.

My bed has two underdrawers which are so heavy it is almost impossible to move the bed. I know i have not put that much stuff into them and this fact caused me much confusion on moving in. However, a few weeks afterwards I discovered two MORE drawers on the other side which were empty. I accredited the heaviness merely to the existence of two extra drawers alone; however, now in hot persuit of the dragon theory it seems to me very possible that a medium-to-large sized dragon could quite easily have wriggled its way into one of the drawers while my back was turned...which would explain why I always become overly warm whilst trying to sleep!

But finally the theory which I hold most dear to my heart. I have a suspicion that the wooden panelling in the corner of my room is not directly against the wall itself. By which I mean that I believe the room to be a regular squareish shape, which definitely was created with some kind of a slant at one point of the ceiling, but that the first person to turn the attic into a living space may possibly have done some very lovely looking DIY, to give the room a more log-cabiny feel by bringing in the wall at the end of the bed. Which is the whole reason I chose this room in the first place, as it gives it a cozy holidaylike feel. But this positive side to the DIYing does not in any way take away from the fact that a large-to-enormous dragon (we shall now rename her Felicity the Fat Firebreathing Dragonette) would inhabit said space very comfortably indeed, and this would more than explain the constant supply of booming heat which seems to eminate from the very walls of my room every evening. It would also explain the reason why, as I write, I am pretty much stuck to my seat, why strands of my hair are stuck to my face, and why when I go to sleep later on I will probably fall asleep minus the duvet, causing me to wake up tomorrow morning (as I did this morning) clutching the duvet upsidedown, where obviously my asleep and unconscious mind was not intelligent enough to unravel the mysteries of top and bottom.

All I can say, following this shocking conclusion, is that she had better not burn anything down, and she had better not borrow any of my eyeshadow. I hear lady dragons are gluttons for a bit of sparkle.

Ah, dragons. Such trouble they cause. Tsssk.