Argh!

So why, she wonders, with frayed hair clutched in slightly sweaty palms, would the University - any University of decent standing, high moral ground, and over fifty years of practice in these matters - promise results to its students on Wednesday 12th March 2008, and then ON Wednedsay 12th March 2008 continue to tell them (via its rather smug website) that it cannot give them their results UNTIL Wednesday 12th March 2008? Is there any logical explanation for this atrocity? War, famine? Pestilence perhaps? Wasting diseases across the city? Plagues of locusts throughout the University offices perhaps? No, I thought not.

So answer me this if you're so clever.

IS TODAY OR IS TODAY NOT WEDNESDAY 12TH MARCH 2008?

IT IS?

THEN WHERE ARE MY COW STAMPING LEMON SQUEEZING BRAIN EXPLODING RESULTS?!?!?!?!?!?!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

*collapses in frustration*

It's too much. I resign. As of tomorrow my future will change course dramatically. I shall no longer sweat and toil over a degree, living in tormet and forever waiting in vain for results to be released, no - I now have bigger fish to fry! I shall barter a small plot of land from a local farmer, and pay him for it in raspberry sponge cakes (I do make rather yummy sponges) On this plot of land I shall plant all manner of delicious vegetables at one end, and set up three beehives at the other, and surround the entire plot with fences covered in ever-creeping honeysuckle. The grass will of course be covered in clover. My bees will be hard working but gentle, respecting the hand that feeds them, and producing the nicest sweetest honey in all the land. Thus I shall be known as Becki: the Bee Keeper. There will be no need for results in this glorious age. All will be well again.

Tsssk.